“Awkward Silence”

Two people experiencing anxiety while next to each other. “Awkward silence” can often feel this way for people.

I’ve never been the type that likes to force a conversation to happen. If I have things to say, I will say them, but if I want to keep my thoughts to myself, I have the right to do that too.

I think that the idea of being uncomfortable with awkward silence is an over analyzation and immature way to think about silence. Silence is a time for absorbing and reflecting. It’s a moment that can be filled with many of things like affection, eye contact, closeness. It doesn’t have to be awkward at all.

I think anyone who has a problem with “awkward silence” is probably anxious. But trying to manipulate the other person into feeling bad for not compensating for your own anxiety by labeling the quiet ones as awkward or assuming rejection is simply immature. If that last sentence just triggered you, let me follow up with this: I’m not saying you’re a bad person, but I am saying you need to take responsibility for your own feelings and issues, which includes properly communicating your needs with people.

I feel so passionately about this subject because I am a Cancer mercury, which means that I am very reflective, quiet, and observant by nature. It means that I am not going to be the chatter box in the friend group, but when I do have something to say, it is valuable and I desire to be listened to as if you are hearing Martin Luther King’s I have a dream speech for the first time. My quietness can also be confusing to people because as a Leo rising that also means in social interactions I can be extremely extroverted, theatrical, dramatic. But I can’t force myself to be a chatter box or fake a certain social setting. This baffles people who stay on one social mode in front of people. A personal problem that ends up being projected on to me by way of accusing me of having negative energy, being stuck up, etc. It’s frustrating and it f*cks with my social life now more than ever with people’s social skills falling to sh*t while isolated during the pandemic.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but making an assumption that someone is acting a certain way because of you is called narcissism. Yes, humans are naturally narcissistic to a certain extent (the use of the word narcissist where is being used to mean “self centered). However, it’s all about controlling your level of narcissism. Are you self aware of your own triggers? Are communicating what you need right now? I think the best way to combat your own narcissism is by getting curious. Look above and beyond what you are seeing and feeling in the moment.

I understand that asking questions can be very intimidating. Especially when that means you have to the accept the reality of that answer and reality can be a scary thing. I think that’s why so many of us decide to live in our heads instead…because it’s safer up there. BUT communication is important as f*ck, and it is a skill that we all have. Sometimes we are communicating in such different ways that we misinterpret, overthink, take things the wrong way, etc. when we could just…once again…get inquisitive. There isn’t anything wrong with asking questions. Asking questions pulls you closer to someone and your understanding of them.


Writer’s note:

I miss coming to the blog and publishing (not just keeping things in the drafts for ages haha). My mind has just been a little too scattered to formulate these ideas and thoughts into what many would consider a nicely polished article but honestly realness is all I can give at this point in my life. I hope it still resonates and sparks important discourse.

Comment below what you think about awkward silence. Comment your experiences with other people while communicating.

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